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Growing through criticism

‘If you accept correction, you will be honoured.’ Proverbs 13:18 NLT

Solomon said, ‘If you accept correction, you will be honoured.’ Charlie Shedd gives us ten ways to grow through criticism:

(1) Criticism is often a compliment. The arrows in daily life strike only those who raise their heads above ground level. Jesus said, ‘Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you, insult you, and slander your name as evil because of the Son of Man.’ (Luke 6:22 CSB)

(2) Accept that you have faults that are open to censure. Stay humble, and criticism won’t rattle you.

(3) Invite criticism from friends; then when it comes from your enemies, you won’t be shattered by it. ‘The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them.’ (Proverbs 12:6 NIV)

(4) Let criticism make you better. When you burn with anger, you destroy the door to your own improvement. ‘But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God.’ (1 Peter 2:20 NKJV)

(5) Some criticism should be ignored, especially if it stems from false motives. Never give unhappy people the key to your happiness.

(6) Keep it in perspective. Don’t believe everybody has heard. Most people don’t care. One bad word doesn’t cancel out the good in you.

(7) Let criticism make you kinder. Remind yourself that you have criticised others too. Is this a boomerang that started in your heart?

(8) Pray for your critics. It will improve them and neutralise your bitterness. Hate destroys your health and steals your happiness.

(9) Check with the Master Critic. What does God say? How do things look in your soul?

(10) When you have checked to make sure you’re right, move ahead. In quiet confidence finish what you started, because God’s promises are to those who endure (see Hebrews 6:12).

SoulFood: Lev 23:26–25:55, Mt 6:25–34, Ps 74:1–11, Prov 2:6

Don’t be afraid of getting old (2)

‘They shall still bear fruit in old age.’ Psalm 92:14 NKJV

Does the thought of getting older depress you, make you anxious, or make you defeatist in your outlook? If so, read this: ‘Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing.’ (Psalm 92:13–14 NKJV) Here is how to stay fresh and flourishing as you grow older:

(1) Guard your health. Studies show that good health is the #1 factor in determining the level of happiness in old age. So try to eat healthy, and exercise often if you can. Drink lots of water, and get a medical check-up, if you can. These efforts will not guarantee you more time, but they will help improve the quality of your time here on earth.

(2) Look your best. Dress stylishly at every age, as your budget will allow. When you look good, you feel good—and inspired. But keep your quest for attractiveness in balance. Remember God’s words to Samuel: ‘The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’ (1 Samuel 16:7 NLT)

(3) Look for someone to help. You will be amazed at the sense of strength, self-worth, and satisfaction you feel when you meet the needs of others. If you haven’t already, experience the joy of giving without expecting anything in return.

SoulFood: Lev 21:1–23:25, Matt 6:19–24, Ps 71:17–24, Prov 2:3–5

Don’t be afraid of getting old (1)

‘My chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands.’ Isaiah 65:22 NIV

We live in a society where the beauty or strength of youth is valued more than the wisdom of age. But we don’t have to be victims of that value system. ‘For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of My people; My chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands.’ (Isaiah 65:22 NIV) There’s an old saying, ‘Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!’ So:

(1) Build a strong relationship with God. Spend time talking with Him and reading His Word. ‘Store My commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.’ (Proverbs 3:1–2 NLT)

(2) Come to grips with the reality of ageing. Face it, you have been ageing from the moment you were conceived. In fact, on the day of your birth, you were already nine months old. Therefore, fretting about getting older is as fruitless as worrying about the sun going down each day. Instead of worrying about the length of your life, maximise every day of it. Each morning look in the mirror and announce, ‘This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.’ (see Psalm 118:24).

(3) Always have a goal. It doesn’t have to be something big in the eyes of the world, just something to look forward to doing with your hands and your mind. Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on.’ Read, grow, contribute, stay involved, live until your last breath!

SoulFood: Ex 20:4–6, Deut 7:17–8:2, Is 40:18–31, Col 3:5–10

What it means to love someone

‘God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.’ 1 John 4:16 ESV

In today’s culture, the word ‘love’ means different things to different people. You can love your husband or wife, your country, your dog, your new mobile phone and your house. But you don’t love your husband or wife the same way you love your mobile phone or your house, right? The movie and tv kind of love where you fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat isn’t real love, it’s selfishness and immaturity.

The Bible word agape (God’s love) is an unconditional commitment to love that’s rooted in an unchanging decision. It always gives and doesn’t change whether the love is returned or not. It’s a decision of your heart to seek the other person’s highest good, no matter how they may respond.

When the King James Bible translators came upon the Greek word agape, in addition to using the English word ‘love’ for it, they often chose the word ‘charity’. This was meant to reinforce the idea that love is a selfless, unconditional, giving love. And as such, it directs kindness, respect, and loyalty towards the loved one.

‘By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as He is, so also are we in this world.’ (1 John 4:17 ESV) What causes us to stand out from the world isn’t our words but our love for one another. When we can overcome our differences, when we can cross lines of denomination, race, and culture and truly love one another, the world is drawn to Christ and it pays attention to what we say (see John 13:35).

SoulFood: Lev 18–20, Mt 6:9–18, Ps 71:1–16, Prov 2:1–2

Are you dealing with relationship problems?

‘For a righteous person falls seven times and rises again.’ Proverbs 24:16 NASB

When it comes to handling relationships, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. So to survive and flourish in a relationship, we must learn to persevere. Even when we have done our best to lessen the likelihood of failure, we must still be ready for it. If we stay mired in self-defeat, guilt, and shame over missed chances and bad choices in one particular relationship, we will never encounter the freedom to sustain our other relationships. It’s wise to realise that most relationships don’t work out the way you thought or hoped they would.

So with that in mind, promise yourself that no matter what circumstances occur, or which relationships fail miserably, you will rely on God’s grace to survive. You will arise, learn from the setbacks, draw closer to God, and, if nothing else, thank Him for the blessings that still remain in your life. And when you consider your blessings, you will notice many! When you think about the long list of gifts that remain in your life even in the middle of difficulties, losses, and frustrations, you’re better able to see the big picture and not just the current trouble in front of your eyes.

Gratitude is a sure remedy for self-pity and despair.

Thanksgiving lifts you back to a position of seeing your relationships and life more clearly.

An important question to ask yourself is whether you really want the relationship to work. If so, commit to praying for the other person, loving them unconditionally, and investing in them. When you do that, trust God to do the rest!

SoulFood: Lev 15–17, Mt 6:1–8, Ps 46, Prov 1:32–33

The gift of confession

‘Walk in love as Christ also has loved us.’ Ephesians 5:2 NKJV

Spiritual healing takes place when you’re able to confess your problem to someone mature enough to handle it and committed enough to not give up on you. What does it mean to walk in love?

(a) To be confident of God’s unfailing love towards you.

(b) To show His love to others.

(,) To be able to accept their love in return.

Only then can you become spiritually whole. You can only be loved to the extent that you’re known. When you keep part of your life a secret, others may tell you they love you, but deep inside you think, ‘If you knew the whole truth about me, you wouldn’t love me.’ So, you’re unable to receive and be strengthened by their love. Sin isolates us, and sin and isolation will make us sick in our soul, and even our body. Confession and then prayer, connectedness to each other and God, ushers in the Spirit and promotes healing. To be fully known and fully loved is the most healing gift we can give to each other.

The Bible says, ‘Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.’ (James 5:16 NASB) We’re all forgiven, recovering sinners, and no one can be secure in a relationship if they’re loved only because they’re intelligent, strong, pretty, or successful. But when we are able to share our pain and wounds in all their ugliness with another person and we are met with the warmth of God’s love, we know true healing.

SoulFood: Lev 13:38–14:57, Mt 5:38–48, Ps 3, Prov 1:29–31

Angels

‘He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.’ Psalm 91:11 NIV

In Scripture, there are over 300 references to angels, and they’re described in two words: many and mighty. But it took only one angel to shut the mouths of lions for Daniel and bring Peter out of prison the night before he was due to be executed. And do you remember Elisha’s servant? When an enemy army surrounded the city of Dothan, Elisha asked God to open his servant’s eyes: ‘And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.’ (2 Kings 6:17 KJV)

If God opened your eyes today, what would you see? Angels escorting your children to school? Protecting you from drunks? Guiding the hand of the doctor? Guarding you while you sleep? Christians should expect powerful angels to accompany them in their life experiences.

Does everybody have an angel looking out for them? No, the Bible says, ‘Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?’ (Hebrews 1:14 NIV) When you reject Jesus, you forfeit the ultimate security, but when you accept Him as Lord and Saviour, you get around-the-clock protection because ‘The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him.’ (Psalm 34:7 NIV)

Note, your angel doesn’t just wave as he flies past; he alights, lingers, and keeps vigilance. You can rest secure beneath the shadow of his wings—and if that doesn’t lower your anxiety level, nothing will! The fact is, some of the richest people on the planet don’t have it that good! How blessed we are.

SoulFood: Lev 11:1–13:37, Mt 5:27–37, Ps 42:6–11, Prov 1:24–28

Work on improving your communication skills

‘If you instruct the wise, they will be all the wiser.’ Proverbs 21:11 NLT

Whether in your personal life or your job, learning how to communicate with others is essential to success and happiness in a relationship. Apart from obtaining facts, communication should deliver a way to gain some understanding into the heart and mind of another person. And good communication calls for translation. Really, you’re learning that other person’s language.

We all use the same words, but we have unique languages when it comes to love. What you mean when you say, ‘I need someone to be here for me,’ might not be what the other person means when they say, ‘I will be here for you.’ You need to learn their personal language without prior assumptions weighing you down.

Understanding others will serve you well for years to come. It will stop you from treating them as though they are simply you in a different shape, or imagining that they are just like your best friend. We all need to love and be loved, but we use different means of communication to express our desires. Don’t be fearful of checking what people really mean to make sure you’re both singing from the same song sheet.

A good practice after having a conversation is to summarise what you took in from the conversation to ensure you understood the person correctly. This gives them a chance to correct any misunderstanding. You may be shocked at how many times you hear something totally different from what was intended! Lasting happiness doesn’t come from owning things, it comes from having good relationships. So, work on improving your communication skills. It’s well worth the investment!

SoulFood: Lev 8–10, Mt 5:13–26, Ps 42:1–5, Prov 1:20–23

Blind chance versus God’s command (2)

‘By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.’ Hebrews 11:3 NIV

Speaking of our amazing bodies: what about DNA? Each human cell (up to 100 trillion in each of us) contains an enormous database of information. Could all that have originated by chance? Physicist Paul Davies makes this comparison: ‘It’s rather like exploding a stick of dynamite under a pile of bricks and expecting it to build a house. You may liberate enough energy to raise the bricks, but without coupling the energy to the bricks in a controlled way, there’s little hope of producing anything other than a chaotic mess.’ Clearly, it requires more than a pile of bricks to build a house. The intelligence of the architect and the skill of the builder are key components.

It’s the same with all the complexities of a human being. The odds are infinitesimally small that all the required elements necessary to initiate human life just happened to assemble themselves in the same spot on Earth at the same time. And even if we did accept that notion, blind chance couldn’t put those 100 trillion cells together in the order required to produce life.

Prominent scientist Francis Crick wasn’t noted for his faith, but even he said, ‘The origin of life seems almost to be a miracle, so many are the conditions which would have had to have been satisfied to get it going.’

And what’s the miracle? The psalmist said, ‘You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.’ (Psalm 139:13–14^{NIV) That’s the miracle!}

SoulFood: Lev 5–7, Mt 5:1–12, Ps 10:12–18, Prov 1:17–19

Blind chance versus God’s command (1)

‘I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.’ Psalm 139:14 NKJV

Could life as we know it—plant, animal, and human life—have spontaneously happened by chance? Could our amazing solar system be the result of an accident? The more advanced science becomes, the more evidence there is for a Master Designer. Researchers continue to uncover the divine order in each tiny human cell. Biochemist Bruce Alberts, former president of the National Academy of Sciences, writes, ‘We have always underestimated cells; undoubtedly we still do… Cells are the basic unit of life… indeed the entire cell can be viewed as a factory that contains an elaborate network of interlocking assembly lines, each of which is composed of a set of different protein machines in defined positions.’

The psalmist David wasn’t a scientist, yet he recognised that each of us is a complex product of God’s amazing hands! ‘You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb… My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, and skilfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth… How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.’ (Psalm 139:13;15;17–18 NKJV)

The average human heart beats 115,000 times a day. Our blood travels around 19,312 kilometres every day (nearly three times the distance from PNG to the Cook Islands!) Adults take an average of 18,000 to 30,000 breaths a day, and for the most part, all these functions take place without our awareness. Amazing! Today, stop and take a few minutes to acknowledge and thank your Creator for the amazing things He did with that first clump of dirt.

SoulFood: Ex 20:1–3, Deut 6:1–9, Mk 12:28–34, Rev 2:1–7