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Change your expectations

‘These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you.’ John 1 5:11 KJV

Why did Jesus say, ‘These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full’? Because if you let it, stress will drain you of joy and consign you to a life of depression, dullness, and discontent. Let’s face it, most of us are way too serious! We make a big deal out of everything. Being five minutes late, getting stuck in traffic, somebody giving us a wrong look, waiting in line, overcooking a meal, gaining a kilo, discovering a grey hair, making an honest mistake, you name it; we lose all perspective. The real problem is we have unrealistic expectations. That’s not how God wants you to live! If you want to experience the joy Jesus promised, do these two things:

1) Concede that your uptightness is mostly because of the way you have decided life should be.

2) Acknowledge that your expectations are causing you much of your frustration. When you keep expecting things to always be a certain way, and they’re not, you will always be upset.

Here is an idea: try approaching life today without all those expectations. For example, don’t expect everybody to be friendly, then when some are, you will be delighted. Don’t expect your day to be hassle-free; when trouble comes, look up and say, ‘Thank you, Lord, for another chance to grow.’ Go ahead, try it and see how much better things are. Rather than swimming against the tide, learn to flow with it. Pretty soon, you will find you’re enjoying life more! And not just that: other people will enjoy being around you more.

SoulFood: Gal 5:22, Luke 10:25-37, Eph 4:31-32, Gen 50:15-21

Servants for life

‘Paul, a bond-servant of Christ Jesus, called as an apostle.’ Romans 1:1 NASB

In the Bible the word minister isn’t just a noun (which denotes a person, place, or thing); it’s also a verb (an action word). It’s what you do, not what you claim to be. In Scripture, the word servant sometimes referred to a 3rd-level galley slave chained to the oar of a Roman ship. Day and night, they rowed to the beat of another, and whether in battle or in merchant service, they expected to die chained to that oar. What a picture!

Paul says, ‘Dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind he will find acceptable’ (Romans 12:1 NLT). Paul had no doubt about what God had called him to be. When he referred to himself as a bond-servant, he was describing a slave who served his master faithfully for six years. In the 7th year, the law of Moses required that the slave be set free. But if, when he was released, he came back and said, ‘Master, I’m not serving you because I have to; I’m serving you because I want to,’ his master would take him before a magistrate and pierce his ear, signifying that he belonged to him forever (see Exodus 21:6). Sometimes you need to look up and say: ‘Lord, I’m not serving you because I have to; I’m serving you because I love you. Pierce my ear. Mark me as yours. Bond me with you so I can never belong to another.’

When you think of everything Jesus has done for you, is that really too much to ask?

SoulFood: Acts 20-21, Mark 5:1-10, Ps 144:1-8, Pro 11:10-11

Build a relationship with your children

‘Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain.’ Psalm 12 7:1 NIV

How would you describe your relationship with your children? Strained? Exciting? Heart-breaking? Enjoyable? If you want a real eye-opener, ask them to describe their feelings about you and their home. But be warned, what they say might not be to your liking! And having a Christian home doesn’t necessarily exempt you. The old nature in us still rears its ugly head from time to time, and habits set in concrete can lead to broken communication.

When Biblical principles are ignored, the result is pain and strain in the family. Three illustrations come to mind:

1) Rebekah loved her son Jacob more than his brother Esau, so she used him to deceive their father, Isaac, and cause division in the family (see Genesis 27).

2) Eli, the high priest, let his boys run wild, and in the end, it cost him his life (see 1 Samuel 3-4).

3) David preached one thing but practised another, and his children (as kids will do) were more influenced by what he did than by what he said. (see 2 Samuel 11, 13, 15-16; 1 Kings 11). Nobody is immune; not David, not Rebekah, not Eli, not you! But evaluation is pointless if it leads to guilt without action.

So what should you do? Take time to get close to your children. Deal with the barriers between you. You can’t change anything unless you’re willing to acknowledge it, and sometimes change must begin with you. For example, does your attitude need adjusting? How about your priorities? What about the example you have been setting lately? Before you try to deal with your children, ask God to deal with you.

SoulFood: Acts 18-19, Mark 4:35-41, Ps 7:10-17, Pro 11:7-9

Today, choose the right attitude

‘Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.’ Romans 1 2:2 NASB

Long before William James, the Father of American psychology, was attributed with saying, ‘The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes,’ God said, ‘As a man thinks in his heart, so is he’ (Proverbs 23:7 NKJV). Often it’s our thoughts, not our circumstances, that determine our happiness. We keep thinking we will be happy when certain things happen.

For example, a parent might say, ‘When little Tommy starts primary school, I will be happy.’ And they are, for a while. Next, ‘When Tommy leaves secondary school, I will be happy.’ And they are, at least for the summer. Next, Tommy’s graduation from university brings the same promise; so does his marriage and the birth of the first grandchild. But the problem is, the parent hasn’t learned how to be happy between happenings. When your happiness is controlled by something outside yourself, you will always be hostage to people, places, and things. That’s not how God wants you to live – a victim of circumstances beyond your control. The psalmist said, ‘I will bless the Lord at all times: His praise shall continually be in my mouth’ (Psalm 34:1 KJV). David chose the right attitude, and you have to do the same! You also must maintain it. That’s the hard part. It’s like the old farmer who said, ‘The hardest thing about milking cows is – they don’t stay milked!’

And it’s the same with attitudes; they don’t stay changed. You have to work on them every day; it’s called renewing your mind. And the way you do it is by getting into God’s Word and getting His Word into you. Are you doing that regularly?

SoulFood: Acts 16-17, Mark 4:30-34, Ps 7:1-9, Pro 11:3-6

Beware of self-pity

‘No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.’ 1 Corinthians 1 0:24 NIV

Self-pity can be deadly. It tells the wife and mother who works hard, ‘You’re not appreciated.’ It says to the office worker, ‘Look how valuable you are, yet you’re never recognised or rewarded.’ It says to the unemployed, ‘No chance!’ To the divorced, ‘No place!’ To the bereaved, ‘No hope!’ And to the struggling, ‘No way!’ Look at the prophet Elijah. 24 hours after his greatest victory, he is deeply depressed and wallowing in self-pity. ‘I have had enough…Take my life…I have zealously served…But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed…your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too’ (1 Kings 19:4, 10 NLT).

There it is – self-pity in the raw! Generally speaking, there are two reasons behind self-pity. The first is emotional manipulation. We use self-pity as a weapon to guilt-trip others and get our own way. That’s immaturity and you have to deal with it, whether it’s in yourself or somebody else. On the other hand, self-pity can also stem from sheer exhaustion. Recorded in the Old Testament, God showed Elijah four things that were necessary to get himself back on track:

1) He needed more rest.

2) He hadn’t been eating properly.

3) He had taken his eyes off God and was trying to do everything in his own strength.

4) He was isolated and needed a friend. So, God gave him Elisha. That did the job, and the next time we see Elijah, he is back on top.

Take a moment today and think about how these four truths apply to your life.

SoulFood: Acts 14-15, Mark 4:21-29, Ps 16, Pro 11:1-2

He will do it again!

‘Jacob set up a memorial stone in the place where He had spoken with him,’ Genesis 3 5:14 NASB

There are events in all our lives that, looking back, had to be the hand of God at work. Maybe you bumped into somebody who introduced you to your spouse, or a co-worker resigned and suddenly you were promoted, or a stranger said something that spoke to your heart. These are all signs of God’s favour, and when you’re tempted to get down, you need to remember how God opened the door for you, how he made a way, or spared your life, or healed your child. There is no such thing as coincidence. When something good happens, recognise that it’s God, and recall it often.

In the Old Testament, ‘Jacob set up a memorial stone in the place where He had spoken with him.’ Have you established any memorial stones lately? A sure way to build your faith is to remember all the times God made a way when every door was locked and barred against you. Days when you were lonely and God brought the right person into your life. Nights when you felt so bad you didn’t think you would make it until the next morning. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, God turned things around and gave you the oil of joy for mourning, lifted you out of the pit, gave you a new beginning and today, you’re happy, healthy, and whole.

And best of all: if He did it before, He will do it again! He is the same today as He was yesterday, and when you take time to remember His goodness and faithfulness, it strengthens you to keep fighting the good fight of faith.

SoulFood: Acts 12-13, Mark 4:10-20, Ps 103:13-22, Pro 10:30-32

Setting captives free (2)

‘He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, And broke their chains in pieces.’ Psalm 10 7:14 NKJV

When the Israelites cried to the Lord, he saved them. He brought them out of darkness and broke their chains. (see Psalm 107:13-14). And He can set you free from whatever is holding you captive today. And not just temporary freedom, but long-term freedom: ‘”So if the Son sets you free, you really will be free.’ (John 8:36 CSB). Here are two steps you can take towards freedom:

1) Cry out to the Lord. God said, ‘You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’ (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV). Away with dignity and decorum – desperate situations call for desperate measures! Stop trying to handle it alone. If you could save yourself, you wouldn’t need a Saviour. Give it to God, ‘casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you’ (1 Peter 5:7 NKJV).

2) Feed your soul spiritually. Freedom is a two-part process. The first is communion with Jesus. The Israelites fed on the Passover lamb in preparation for leaving slavery. And Jesus, the Lamb of God, declares, ‘“I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever.“’ (John 6:51 NIV). Sharing your feelings and needs with Him will lighten your burden, relieve your loneliness, and nourish your soul. Jesus came to proclaim freedom for the prisoners to set the oppressed free. (see Luke 4:18). The second part is meditating on Scripture. Rejecting God’s Word caused the Israelites to become slaves: ‘Because they rebelled against the words of God, and despised the counsel of the Most High…they fell down, and there was none to help’ (Psalm 107:11-12 NKJV).

To be set free and stay free, feed every day on God’s life-giving Word.

SoulFood: Acts 10-11, Mark 4:1-9, Ps 103:1-12, Pro 10:27-29

Setting captives free (1)

‘I have heard them crying out…and I am concerned about their suffering.’ Exodus 3:7 NIV

For 400 years, Israel was enslaved by Egyptian taskmasters who oppressed them. You can understand their feelings of helplessness when you consider the areas in your life where you struggle for freedom from old habits. Whether it’s anger, food, alcohol, drugs, sex, money, or abusive relationships, we experience a sense of powerlessness in our struggle. And repeated attempts at freedom can produce increased feelings of hopelessness that lead us to give up trying altogether.

The Israelites cried out to God, and He responded: ‘The LORD said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.’ (Exodus 3:7 NIV) God sees you, hears you, and is concerned about you.

He said, ‘So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey’ (Exodus 3:8 NIV). How did He do it? Their deliverance called for the death of the spotless Passover lamb. After applying its sacrificial blood to their doorposts, they cooked and ate the lamb while dressed in their travelling clothes, staff in hand, ready to leave captivity behind. Today, God wants you to prayerfully prepare for your journey to freedom; not by your own futile human efforts, but by faith in the shed blood of Jesus, the Lamb of God who takes away our sins. ‘Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch–as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.’ (1 Corinthians 5:7 NIV).

Aren’t you glad?

SoulFood: Gal 5:22, 2 Pet 3:3-15, Matt 5:39, 1 Sam 25:1-42

Recovering from burnout

‘Even the youths shall faint and be weary,’ Isaiah 4 0:30 NKJV

Dr Richard Swenson says, ‘You can go into the woods, select a 3m sapling [young tree], bend it over, and when you release it, it will return to its normal height. But if you keep bending it further and further, it will stay down. With stress, first, you bend, and then you recover. With burnout, first, you bend, and then you break, and you stay broken. Burnout is not a figment of your imagination or a sensationalised diagnosis by psychologists.

Exhaustion is real; it’s common, and it’s dangerous. It leads to irritability, anger, paranoia, headaches, ulcers, depression, and suicide. Burnout causes something inside you to break; you don’t care who sees or hears; you just want out. The good news is you can recover your passion, enthusiasm, productivity, and excellence, but it takes time, and the healing is mostly by scar formation. Burnout is common among the spiritually minded who are sensitive. They see pain and internalise it. They want to help the wounded. They don’t realise they were never designed to carry the world on their backs.’ So what’s the remedy? Lean on God (see Psalm 91:1). But to receive Psalm 91’s benefits, you need to meet its conditions by making God your dwelling place, abiding in Him, and submitting to His authority. ‘I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress…in him will I trust’ (Psalm 91:2 KJV).

Note the word ‘say’. What you say can mean life or death (see Proverbs 18:21). It can put you over the top or put you under. So today, read God’s Word, internalise and personalise and verbalise it, and your life will take an upward swing.

SoulFood: Acts 8-9, Mark 3:28-35, Ps 130, Pro 10:24-26

Don’t give up on your Saul

‘Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for…Saul, for he is praying.’ Acts 9:11 NIV

Has everyone else written off your Saul? ‘He is too far gone.’ ‘He is too hard, too addicted, too old, too cold.’ Joseph believed one day he would be reunited with the brothers who betrayed him, and it happened. The prophet Hosea’s wife deserted him and became a prostitute. Yet, he kept the door open, and she came home. God believed in Saul. And he believed in Saul through Ananias: ‘Brother Saul, the Lord – Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here – has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit’ (Acts 9:17 NIV).

Max Lucado writes: ‘My favourite Ananias-type story involves a couple of college roommates. The Ananias of the pair was a tolerant soul. He tolerated his friend’s late-night drunkenness, midnight throw-ups, and all-day sleep-ins. He didn’t complain when his friend disappeared for the weekend or smoked cigarettes in the car. He could have requested a roommate who went to church more or cursed less or cared about something other than impressing girls. But he hung with his personal Saul, seeming to think that something good could happen if the guy could pull his life together. So he kept cleaning up the mess, inviting his roommate to church, and covering his back.’

Max continues: ‘ I don’t remember a bright light or a loud voice. I’ve never travelled on a desert road to Damascus. But I distinctly remember Jesus knocking me off my perch and flipping on the light. It took four semesters, but Steve’s example and Jesus’ message finally got through.’ So, no matter what, don’t give up on your Saul!

SoulFood: Acts 6-7, Mark 3:20-27, Ps 75, Pro 10:22-23